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Captain's log, stardate 2906-22

Fuck on a skateboard in the middle of space? No problem for Fucknet. Today, my beloved virtual fuck simulator upgraded and paired me with a gorgeous young woman on a skateboard, and we were both eager to put it to the test. I recorded how we slid off the board mid-ride and she wrapped her lips around my cock before I fucked her hard. That was beautiful! Her sexy, athletic body and tight wet pussy were exactly what I needed today. I fucked her, came all over her, and sent her back to the skatepark with a grin. Base, the skater gets a clear thumbs up from me. Captain, over.

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Captain's log, stardate 2704-74

Base, I report that the zombie fantasy has reached the edge of the universe. Even the mischievous artificial intelligence of the ANNA 9000 did not trust its own sensors when it saw what I had chosen today as pleasure for my lonely dick. An incredibly realistic zombie beauty appeared, horny and determined to suck every drop of sperm out of me. Using the virtual simulator driver, I slowly teased my eager undead seductress. I really fucked her hole hard, and then sprinkled all the living water from my dick. It was one wild zombie encounter! Perverted captain, over.

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The truth about the Roswell incident has finally been revealed! We are glad to bring you the secret, never-before-published footage from Area 51. A curious military scientist comes face to face with a seductive extra-terrestrial visitor with unmistakably feminine anatomy, and their charged encounter quickly turns intensely sexual. What starts as a close inspection becomes a wildly passionate, mutually desired interspecies hookup packed with sci-fi heat and out-of-this-world chemistry. They have been lying to us for 71 years!!! The truth really is out there!